Marriage can be Fun

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour!
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself - what other problem can be greater than this one?

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet!

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

Father to son after exam: Let me see your report card.
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.