Chinese Courier Service

Have a good laugh with this Chinese delivery. Enjoy its innovative delivery method, the Chinese way... forget about DHL, UPS or even FedEx!!! IF U DARE... J J J

A family in the Southern Province of China, were puzzled when the coffin of their dead grandmother arrived from United States. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it!

When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top; which read as follows:

Dear Cousins,

I am sending Ah Ma body to you since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Tung Shin. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ah Ma ' s body, 12 cans of Yohmeitsu, 10 packets of Swiss chocolates and packets of Chinatown Lap Cheong. Please divide these among all of you.

On Ah Ma ' s feet you will find a new pair of Nike Air shoes (size 10) for Ah Boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Ah Mei ' s and Ah Lien ' s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ah Ma is wearing 6 CK T-Shirts. The large size is for Ah Bak and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Armani Jeans that Ah-ma is wearing are for the boys.

The Rolex watch that Lee Ah Bai wanted is on Ah Ma ' s left wrist.

Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei , Ah Ma is wearing the Tiffany necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white Polo cotton socks that Ah Ma is wearing must be divided among my teenage cousins.

Let me know what else you need as Ah Kong also not felling well nowadays. I can send all required things when our Ah Kong goes back too... '

Technical Glitch - Girlfriend 7.0 & Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

___________________________________________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1..0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony - Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 ...

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 .. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Women's Rights 6 p.m. to 6 a.m.

I got this from a forwarded email and not sure which country this applies to. But it is good for knowledge.

___________________________________________________________________

I was talking with a lawyer friend of mine. 
We were discussing the law and women's rights. 

She told me about this incident 
 - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver's license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. 

Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed. 

In fact, the law clearly states that between 6 pm and 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her... 

It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6 pm and 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. 
And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest. 

It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power. Just thought I'd share this with you. I did not know this and am sure lot of us will not know this

Some Info on Your Mobile Phone

I don't know how true is this but if you are curious, you can check it out on your mobile phone...

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers: 

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7 th	8 th	9	10	11	12	13	14	15
Phone serial no.	x	x	x	x	x	x	?	?	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in China which is low quality 

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality 

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good 

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality 

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health 

Sounds familiar?

Said also don't Listen
Listen also Don't Understand
Don't Understand also don't Ask
Ask also don't Do
Do also do Wrong
Wrong also don't Admit
Admit also don't Correct
Correct also Not Happy
Not Happy also don't Say

Maths is just so easy...

Maths is about logic, and this is what logic is all about...

Daylight Robbery in Taman Maluri, Cheras!

This is reported on the front page of Malay Mail on Friday, 27 March 2009.

Warning About Bangkok International Airport

This is from a forwarded email. Don't know how true it is but better be careful when receiving free gifts. Double check if it is really a free gift and if in doubt, just decline it. __________________________________________________________________________ Dear All,

 

My Dept secretary informed on this. Her cousin was detained in Bangkok for stealing a box of cigarettes in a duty-free shop in Bangkok International Airport .

 

He had paid for chocolates and a carton of cigarettes. The cashier put a packet of smokes into his bag and he thought it was a free pack. He was arrested for shop-lifting and the Thai Police extortion price was RM30,000 for his release. He spent two nights in jail and paid RM50 for an air-cond cell, 200-300 baht for each visitor, and RM11,000 for his final release. The Police shared the money in front of his eyes.

 

On top of that, he was charged in court and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate and handcuffed and escorted to his plane. His passport was stamped "Thief". While there, his relatives requested help from the Malaysian Embassy and was told that they are helpless, as M'sians are victimised similarly daily and letters and phone-calls to the Thai Authorities are ignored.

 

He shared a cell with a Singaporean the 1st night who paid RM60,000 for his release. The  2nd night was an Indian national who paid USD70,000.

 

Mind you this is not in a shag downtown Bangkok but in a duty free shop in Bangkok 's Int'l Airport .

 

BE WARNED.